Thursday, 24 November 2016

Five On Friday - Survey Results - Lots of Thinking

Thank you to everyone who took part in my Five On Friday survey.  I really appreciate the fact that you took time to fill it out as well as the answers/information that you provided.  Thank you too to those of you who proposed or offered taking some of the load off me in various ways.  I really do appreciate your very kind offers.  Especially the offers to take over if I needed you to and those offering more support, that really was very kind.

After careful reading of your replies and comments and looking at the results I have decided that with a few changes I can make things easier for you and for me and enable me to continue to host Five On Friday.  For those interested in the statistics, I have given them at the end of this post.

I have decided that Five On Friday continues, with changes.

In future I will schedule a link up post to be published every Friday morning, about 1am UK time and the link in the post will remain "live" until about 11pm UK time on Monday.  That allows more time for joining in and linking up as some of you said you didn't like the fact that you thought you could only link up on Friday.  The link did always remain live until Saturday evening, but this extends it further.  I cannot leave the link open all week because it will be too much for me to take care of.

This post will just be the link up post, no post from me and no comments on that post.

As for my own posts, I may not join in every week, but I will try to.  On the weeks that I do join in I will do a separate post that I will link up in just the same way as you can link your posts.  This means that Five On Friday can continue even if I am otherwise occupied, on holiday, don't have anything to share and so on.  Joining in with a post every week has been a lot of pressure - self induced I admit, but still a lot - and I just cannot continue with that.  This way I am just the same as you are and can come and go as I please and I will have comments open there just like any other post.  If I don't post it doesn't mean I am not joining in, I just need to miss a week, just as I am sure that you sometimes need to.

I will still ask that you go and visit other participants and leave them comments.  Although some of you said this put you off taking part, others said this was what you liked most so I don't want to stop encouraging this.  No one is going to check if you have visited anyone or left any comments.  It is your choice and there has never been any "requirement" to comment anywhere.  So this is up to you.  I just think that if you are joining a party it is fun to visit with the other people there!

Also regarding comments and visiting, I will be just like you from now on, I will try and visit as many of you as I can and leave a comment, and if I don't get there, it isn't personal, it is just because I cannot get to everyone all of the time.  I understand - I suspect more than any of the other participants - the pressure of visiting and commenting, and that is why I know that you will not all visit and comment on the posts of everyone who takes part.  I have never expected that you will, and in future I am afraid that I will also not expect it of myself.

That is it for what will be happening with Five On Friday, I hope that this will be easier for all of us and you will know that no matter what the link will be there every week (apart from Good Friday and over the Christmas/New Year period when I do not feel it appropriate to have link ups).  It should be smoother moving forward.

These changes will start with the first Friday in December - next week.  I may or may not be posting for the next few weeks myself, I cannot say at the moment as I am incredibly busy and need to put my attention elsewhere for a little while.  I do hope to join in though.

I hope you will all be happy about this.  I know that it makes me feel much better and I hope the consistency and explanation about commenting and the additional time will all make you feel better about Five On Friday too.

In other life thinking, as I said, I am still very busy, dealing with Mans affairs is proving to be a very rocky road for many (personal!) reasons.  It has caused me to reflect on the way that I react to others and they way they treat and react to me.

I think that you know, or could I hope guess, that my mantra - other than 🎝let it go, let it go🎝 - is to be kind.  I will always try and do that, just as I always have.  It has been a shock to me to realise that not everyone thinks the same way and being kind isn't their first priority.  I am perhaps very naïve, but there you go.  Turns out not everyone is trying to be kind as their first thought.  It doesn't mean that they are being nasty, just that kindness isn't their first thought.

Thinking further about that, and trying to be charitable (!!!), I hope that it isn't so much that they are not kind, it is that they prioritise themselves first and sometimes that is what is needed.  I don't mean being selfish, I just mean getting your priorities right.

Running around and running myself ragged putting everyone else first, trying to make them happy, going out of my way to be kind has left me exhausted.  Physically and emotionally.  The same goes for my dear Hubby.

I suspect (really hope!) that you will not notice any difference in me, but I am changing.  Kindness is still my first thing and it is still what I am hoping for in myself and those around me.  However, I also realise that putting myself and my husband first isn't such a terrible thing to do.

To that end, that is why I have made these particular changes to Five On Friday.  I want to be kind to all of you, but I need to be kind to us and spending half of every week on one blog post isn't really being kind to me or my husband is it.  The same goes for commenting in general.

Really all you may notice is that I sometimes miss a Five On Friday post for myself, and that you might see me less in the comments.  You will see me more though than if I had quit blogging, which I was considering.

This isn't really how I want to finish this post, but it doesn't fit before I have said the above, so I will try and find something a little cheerier to end on in a moment.

Please remember that this is my blog.  It is up to me to choose when I blog, what I write about and when and where I read a post and leave - or don't leave! - a comment.  Just as that applies for me, it applies equally for you too.  I think that we can all forget that and expect too much from someone else and from ourselves.

Your blog is for you, it isn't for someone else to tell you what to do.  That cuts both ways.

Also, if someone doesn't like what you have written about, it is OK for them to just move along, either on that post or forever.  You will never please everyone all of the time and in fact I have realised often you might not please anyone!  So if you don't like something here or on another blog please do remember that and just quietly and peacefully move along.  I don't want to lose any of you, but if my changes don't suit you, please feel free to move on.  I will miss you, I thank you for your time here and I wish you all the very best in the future..

Let us all put kindness first and put ourselves very first and be kind to ourselves.

Actually that wasn't as bad as I thought it would sound!

I will leave you with the thought of love and kindness and as it was Thanksgiving in America yesterday, these words which I think are a good thing for us all to hear.

Being always grateful:


You can't go wrong with Charlie Brown can you.  Or Snoopy of course!!

Amy

p.s. these are the results as at the last time I checked them.

Q1. Would you still participate in Five On Friday if I didn't include a post of my own each week and it was just a link up?

72.34% Yes

6.38%   No

21.28% I don't join in so it wouldn't affect me

Q2. Would you still participate if I did a separate post with my Five things on the weeks that I did have something to share and then I just linked my post to the link up?

76.6% Yes

2.13% No

21.28% I don't join in so it wouldn't affect me

Q3. Would you still join in if Five On Friday was only once a month?  Say on the first Friday of the month.

72.34% Yes

8.51%   No

19.15% I don't join in so it wouldn't affect me

Q4. How often do you join in Five On Friday?

31.91% Every week

10.64% Three times a month

6.38%   Twice a month

14.89% Once a month

8.51%   Every two to three months

2.13%   Every three to six months

0.00%   Once a year

25.53% Never

Q9. Assume Five On Friday is ending.  Do you agree with the statement "I am sad to see the end of Five On Friday.

61.7%   Agree strongly

21.28% Agree somewhat

8.51%   Agree

6.38%   Disagree

0.00%   Disagree somewhat

2.13%   Disagree strongly

I haven't included the written replies for obvious reasons and apart from anything else because this is an anonymous survey.

22 comments:

  1. I think you've come up with a great solution, Amy. Blogging should never be about pressure! I have discovered some wonderful blogs through your Five on Friday link up and I'm glad it's continuing.

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  2. You're making the right decision. I know that Five on Friday is your 'baby' and it's something you're proud of but you can't carry on if it's becoming too much of a pressure. I know you wouldn't want it to end altogether so this seems to be a good solution.

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  3. Amy, I think this sounds lovely. I don't like to see my blogging friends putting pressure on themselves. We all have so many pressures in life that we can perhaps do little about, why put unnecessary pressure on ourselves? So many link parties have hard and fast rules, and I must pass them by because it's too much pressure. I have been posting once a week, on Thursday, for going on 7 years now. It's all I can manage. Like you, I like to make kindness a priority. Each day I ask myself many times, What is the kind thing to do? Keep up the good work!

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  4. Amy, Fully support whatever you want to do with your spot in cyberspace! I have my Holiday Christmas card ready to mail. Thanks again for the swap this year! Hugs. !

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  5. Thank you for all your thoughtfulness in hosting and administering this meme. I do hope things will come to a peaceful place for you as you continue to attend to Man's affairs.

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  6. Hello Amy, interesting results of your survey. I don't understand how visiting other participants and leaving them a comment can put some bloggers off. Do they not understand the etiquette of joining a link party? And, party is the key word which means mingling with others. What is the point of just linking your post and never coming back? I wonder if these bloggers expect people to visit them and leave a comment? It would help if this type of blogger could explain their expectations from blogging and linking to a party...

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  7. Thank you Amy for your honest post. Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful I get to read your blog!

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  8. That sounds fine doesn't it. We don't want you all worried and stressed, it's supposed to be fun and it's just nice to get in touch with all the other contributors and see how they're doing. Hope you feel better about it all now and thanks for doing it in the first place. x

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  9. Dear Amy, so sorry I did not take part in your survey but have been absent myself for a variety of reasons and am only just catching up with blog reading. The new style F on F sounds like a good alternative plan, which gives you more flexibility and less stress and seems eminently sensible to me. From your comments I wonder if someone/people have been unkind and hope that is not so. The old saying 'If you cannot say something kind, keep quiet' springs to mind. I look forward to joining in with F on F when time and commitments allow and catching up with you when you have time for posting. Take care and sending you lots of good wishes Ax

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  10. Amy, I'm glad you've found a way that you're happy with to continue Five on Friday. And I completely agree that you must take care of yourself and your husband first and foremost. I am happy to read whatever posts you have time to put here, and if you have no time I completely understand, you must never put a burden on yourself with regards to your blog, or commenting anywhere else. You've always been so kind and generous and encouraging, and I hope you know how much you are appreciated. Take care of yourself, and try and have some time to yourself as much as you can. I know it is hard with your current situation. Hugs, CJ xx

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  11. Sounds good, Amy and of course you must put your husband and youself first in the shceme of things, it is so good of you to continue to administer the link and we will see you as and when you have the time and inclination to join in. Thank you for deciding to continue with Five on Friday and take care of yourself and your family, I hope all will be well:)

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  12. I can only imagine how much effort goes into your blog and this party. And, I'm happy you've chosen to continue in the way you discussed. Sometimes I just like to drop in for a visit and read what others are up to without posting and sometimes not even commenting. I think it's wonderful you've given yourself that option too. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to host.

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  13. I'm glad you have found a solution that suits you Amy. Try not to overthink everything you do on your blog. Like you say, it's your own space and you run it the way you want and are able. Simple as that.

    I learned the same lesson you have a long time ago. Many people are just looking out for No.1 ... themselves. I try to please people both in my small business and with family, but often it doesn't get me anything but disgruntled. Often people just don't recognize the effort and care you put into something just for them.

    I hope you're not running yourself too ragged, and that you can step back from all the turmoil to just enjoy the upcoming holidays a little bit? ((Hugs)) to you :)
    Wendy xox

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  14. Well, Amy, that sounds very accommodating! I know how challenging it is to host a party like this one (especially weekly) so all the best with it. You have a successful party that has helped lots of bloggers to meet others. Win-win! (I do love all the Peanuts gang.)

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  15. That is a real good idea ! Other "meme" leaders do the same ! Just put a linky that's fine, because when we compare to the Australian time, we are always far behind and the Americans behind us ! So the hours you suggested are fine too !
    You can be kind and helpful but not let yourself eat up and get sick ! If a psy would take all the problems of his patients to his heart he would be dead after a week ! It's always you and your couple coming first, that's for your own health. How can you be strong for others if you become weak yourself because you put others first ! That has nothing to do with being selfish, it's just a protection wall you built around you. I had to do this once with my father after my mother had died, if I would have let him he would have eaten me up completely ! I had to learn ! Next week I am in Egypt on holidays, but I try to blog from there.

    http://gattinawritercramps.blogspot.be/2016/11/fridays-fave-five-five-on-friday_25.html

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  16. Dear Amy. First of all it's good to be in contact with you after my blog break and I want to wish you well with all you are doing at the moment for others, especially for your family during this difficult time of extra commitments. I'm glad that you are being kind to yourself by not taking on too much. Thank you for hosting Five on Friday over many months. I've enjoyed participating when I can. Meeting others has been one of the best aspects of joining in. Thank you for continuing in a way that puts less pressure on yourself. As for myself, I'm trying to catch up with Blogland friends and spending time writing up and posting my journal of what I did in the last few weeks whilst away (mainly for my own satisfaction of recording some aspects of my life at the end of 2016). Regular blog spots such as Five on Friday would have had to take a back seat until after the Christmas holidays. However, I'll keep in touch with you and the other bloggers I've met through Five on Friday. Take care Amy. Lots of love.

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  17. Amy you're an amazing blogger , and person, giving so much of yourself. I totally understand your need to prioritise other things at the moment and please prioritise yourself too and take some time to look after you.
    Hugs to my lovely friend,
    Jillxx

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  18. Amy you're an amazing blogger , and person, giving so much of yourself. I totally understand your need to prioritise other things at the moment and please prioritise yourself too and take some time to look after you.
    Hugs to my lovely friend,
    Jillxx

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  19. I know just what you mean about putting yourself and immediate family first! I was pulled apart with my aged parents and my husband, job and two children at one point when my mother suffered three mini strokes within a year's time [my father was torn, and they lived alone]. It was calls in the middle of the night, at work, and while doing 'family things' with my kids. Yep, I understand completely.

    I'm glad to know that this meme will continue with changes that effect your efforts and long hours. No use in having THAT stressor too. If worse comes to worse, you could consider having multiple hosts [Like Skywatch] does. Take turns hosting.

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  20. I think you wrote this beautifully and all was well said my dear Amy! I think you need to do whatever works for you to take some pressure away. You and your Hubby are dealing with so many things right now - you guys need to be the priority. I'm sending continued prayers of love and support!! And biggest hugs too!! I'm so happy you'll keep blogging. I'd rather only have you once in a while - then not at all!! Thank you for doing the survey....weighing everything so well...and coming up with a great decision.
    God bless Sweetie. xoxo

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  21. It sounds like you need a holiday my friend. Putting a lot of pressure on yourself, even for the best of reasons, isn't a good thing. The best advice I had many moons ago was to be gentle with yourself. I'm passing that on to you. Take care xx

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  22. I'm glad you're continuing with Five On Friday, Amy. It is nice to stop for a moment and reflect at the end of the week. Take care!!!
    Amalia
    xo

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