Thursday, 1 September 2016

Update

Hi Everyone

Thank you so very much for your kind words, thoughts, e-mails and prayers over the last couple of weeks regarding Man.  They have been so much appreciated and I have felt your strength with me as we have gone about what we have needed to do.  I will talk a little more about that in a moment.

First though I want to update you on Man.  Today we had meeting with the hospital to see how the progress is going, or not.  It is mixed news.  Sadly Man has suffered somewhat from the stroke and has been left with some physical damage which is not so good, but his speech, and appetite!, are unaffected which is good.  He has been receiving physio and occupational therapy with some mixed results.  Not for want of the hospital, but just the situation.

The result is that he will shortly be moving to another hospital, which rather than being acute care is a community hospital where they can focus on rehabilitation.  The expectation is that Man will be there for at least a month.  Right now that is as far as we can go.  He needs more rehab and more help and we hope that there will be more improvement, but don't know what the outcome will be yet.

If/as and when there is more to know I will share if I can, but right now it looks as though it is rehab all the way and I will be off on a hunt for thick card or wooden puzzles and things that Man can work with when he is not actually in a rehab session to try and get his hand into a better way.  Charity shops here I come!!!

As for us well, we are exhausted.  Mentally, physically and emotionally.  Especially the emotionally part.  The new hospital is also going to be further away from us so we will be spending more time travelling.  Meals at gone 9pm at night seem to have become a far to regular feature in our lives so next week I am hoping to get that rectified and back to a more sensible hour, also some more sensible meals!!  All of those of you who told us to eat properly were right and obviously knew what you were talking about.

Times have been tough, difficult conversations all round.  Many hours - four days in fact - spent sifting through and sorting paperwork to try and get things in order and many other sad things which frankly have been horrible and are too horrid to write about here.  I just cannot bring myself to think about some of it, let alone write about it.

To know that I have had my blogger friends behind me and to use a phrase that isn't one of my favourites, but is so apt in this case, to know that you "had my back" has been wonderful and I really am so very thankful for you all.  So a great big hug and thanks and return of all good thoughts to you is due in abundance and I send it to you thankfully and gratefully!!  Thank you!!!!!!

Friends have had my back too and been great, some family too, and some, well, let us just say that the ones that didn't see a problem before still don't!!  Part of me is infuriated and part of me wishes that I had their blindness to problems and optimisim that all was really as well as they imagine it is.  You can't win them all though can you.

So the situation is up in the air and confused which is basically our new normal right now.  However, it is slightly less so because we know that he will be moving and where he will be for a while so we can put our minds to rest that we will not get a phone call to come and get him at a moments notice and what all of that will mean which has been our biggest fear as we just didn't know.  I cannot fault the hospital in terms of care, but communication has not been the greatest for some reason and that hasn't helped to ease our worries or stress.  It hasn't been deliberate, just one of those things.  Hopefully it will improve!

Thank you again for your support and for listening.  Five On Friday returns tomorrow, so I hope you will join in and haven't all abandoned me.  I do feel that although I don't know what I am going to do about posts and blogging that perhaps once I have got through another week or two I might be able to start to return again and that will be good.

I hope that all is well with you all.  Looking forward to lots of blogging sharing soon.

Thanks!  Amy xx

31 comments:

  1. Due to various reasons, including lack of internet connections I have not been viewing/reading my usual blogs so I was saddened to read that you have been having such a difficult time of late. I´m sure it is all day by day but I do agree that making the effort to eat and sleep for yourselves is paramount, otherwise you don´t function. So do look after yourselves and I wish you and your hubby all the very best in these difficult times xcx

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  2. My heart goes out to you and the family. Just take one day at a time. Sometimes we get overwhelmed when things like this happens and that is normal. I will say a prayer and light a candle for you both.

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  3. It's difficult when coping with an aging parent and I hope your father-in-law will get the care he needs at the new hospital Amy. It is true that blogging sisters will gather around one in need and I'm glad you feel the love and prayers from around the world.
    Take one day at a time so that your situation doesn't become too overwhelming.
    Hugs,

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  4. Hi Amy, it's so good to hear from you. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I feel for you as I know how it is to care for an aged parent. My dear dad was in a lovely assisted living facility until he started to fall. Immediately he had to move to a full time care facility. It was not pleasant to see him in that state but we were so thankful that we were there to take care of him and do what was needed. Luckily, before that happened, we discovered that he could no longer take care of his personal finances, paperwork, etc. Although it took a little bit of work, we got that resolved and were able to take care of everything for him. It's very hard now, I know, but you are doing the right thing to be there for your dear loved one. My thoughts and prayers are with you dear friend, Pat xx

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  5. Hospital visiting can be so wearing without the added stress of everything else that is going on, it often seems that normal life is just up in the air and that the situation is all consuming. It does sound as though Man is getting good care though and that's the main thing. Thinking of you all.

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  6. Hi Amy, I know these are difficult times for you and your family and now you will have a 'new normal' of helping to sort out care for your loved one and all that entails. It is good to hear that he is recovering as best he can and that he has you to look out for his best interests. I went through the same with both of my parents and it does take a toll on you with all that is required, so be sure to take time to care for yourself, too. Hugs xo Karen

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  7. Thinking of you and your family and wishing all well. ....

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  8. It's such an awfully sad situation to be in Amy. Thinking of you both x

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  9. Just take each day as it comes, we'll all still be here and pressuring yourself to take on too much won't help anyone. But at the same time if you need a blogging escape that's fine too. Do what's right for you and your family, don't worry about anything else xx

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  10. Oh dearest Amy! I have such empathy for you - as you know - as we continue to deal with the "limbo land" part of things with my MIL too. Nothing ever feels like it's set one way or another. My heart goes out to you and your hubby and I'm sending continued prayers and hugs of support!! I worked in long term care with similar patients for many years (although it's been a few years now) - so if I can help in any way please don't hesitate to contact me.

    I'm just finally starting to play catch up from the bit of a break I took as well. I'm hoping over the next few days and long Labor Day weekend to get caught up and even to post tomorrow and link with you! Fingers crossed anyway. Please just know there's no reason to put undue pressure on yourself. If you need more time and a break - do take it! We would be here waiting whenever you got back. You always have options...don't stress!! Blessings Sweetie. xoxo

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  11. Hi Amy, I am so sorry you are going through such a traumatic time at the moment but it is great to see you back in blogland. Situations like this do take a toll on family members and it is important that you look after yourselves and, even though it is difficult, that you make a bit of time for yourselves. Take care dear friend, we fellow bloggers are all thinking of you and hoping the days to come will become less stressful. Hugs.

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  12. Not at all surprised you are both exhausted. Some 'normality' would help you both if you can bear it. Sending continued love your way xxxxx

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  13. Hi Amy, thinking about you at this difficult time. It is so tiring physically and emotionally caring for an elderly relative, even more so when they are sick and there is so much uncertainty. Once Man is in the re-hab hospital you will know he is safe, cared for, for a certain length of time and hopefully will begin to make improvements. I know how difficult it can be when other members of the family just don't "get it" and will not recognise the issues involved. After struggling with the same problem myself I have come to the conclusion it's based in fear - if they recognise the problem then it becomes real and they don't want to face that. Take good care of yourselves and try and get as much rest and good food as you can. Your F on F followers would not abandon you! As you say we have all got you back and are standing right behind you. xx

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  14. In my experience once in hospital, they are quite keen to get patients on an even keel, adjust the medication and decide whether where they are living is suitable before letting them out again which might help you in the long run although it's all going to be very tiring. Hope all goes well. x

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  15. You are going through a difficult time and I pray it gets better for you. Having to care for an elderly relative is never easy under any circumstances, but having family member be part of the problem instead of part of the solution is emotionally draining.
    Hope things stabilize and you can have some quiet time with less worry.

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  16. Sounds like a tough season you are going through and I'm so sorry, especially for the emotional horrid part. I do hope that things look up for all of you.

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  17. Oh Amy, do take care! You can only really take one day at a time. I'm glad that you have a month sorted out for him at the very least. This is the best news I think. Big {{hugs}} to you,
    Wendy xox

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  18. It all sounds so familiar. Praying for you, Amy, for your husband, his dad, and all in the family. Praying for the best possible outcome. You don't have to be there every day, all day. I hope that your husband's family helps with taking shifts. You need a break every so often. Good advice about proper eating and I am praying that you are sleeping well.

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  19. My friend,
    I am sorry to read about this...
    Please know you are all in my heart and in my prayers.
    Rest and take care of yourselves...
    So as to have strength to care of his needs.
    Hugs from faraway PA.

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  20. Thanks for the update, Amy. You and yours continue in my thoughts with love as you sort through what must be done. I am sorry for the horrid parts, but am grateful you are able to find help for Man in spite of others' blindness [I experienced this with some of my family members, too, and it is difficult.] Please do be good to yourselves...finding gentle creative joys when you can, and rest from unnecessary work. xx

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  21. I'm sorry for all the emotional turmoil you've been experiencing Amy. I know how much is involved in arranging things, communicating (or trying to communicate) with family members, and such. I hope that things will settle for you this week and that you will be able to get back to a more even keel. Hugs and prayers from Victoria, BC (Canada)

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  22. Hi Amy, I am so sorry to hear about this and that there are still those who are being oblivious to all that is happening. (((((((HUGS)))))

    Our family has been down this road of recovery from a stroke with my father. We almost lost him and would have if it had not been for the amazing EMT that got him to the hospital quickly and the drugs they pushed when he got there just in time. A few more minutes and we would have lost him. My father had partial paralysis but was able to battle his way back through lots of therapy and regain the use and strength in his hands, arms and legs on one side of his body. Two years later and he was fishing in the International Billfish Tournament in Kona, Hawaii. He far surpassed what anyone thought he would be able to do but he was determined and they had him set a goal almost immediately. That kept him motivated. All of his doctors and therapists were amazing and we are so thankful to them. There are a few things that the stroke did affect, like his speech when he is really tired and he has a bit of a limp when he gets tired. He also has some memory loss, but nothing major. He's back to doing most everything he did before the stroke, including the dishes. That is the one thing that my mother put down as a goal for him because they had a deal in place that if she cooked, he cleaned. ;) I hope this is of some encouragement to you and I will be praying for you, your husband and the Man.

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  23. Dear Amy, you're going through such a tough time and I can only echo what all your other bog friends else have said and have expressed much better than I can. Being in a 'not normal' situation is unpleasant, as I know myself only too well for a different reason. I hope that the fact that Man is being looked after in a safe environment will give you and your husband some respite and you'll both feel less exhausted whilst the rehab is taking place. Sending loving thoughts to you at this time. (I might have to give Five on Friday a miss this week. Like you I have things to share, but haven't been able to put anything together for a Five on Friday post as yet, but you never know...I shall enjoy reading everyone else's posts, however). Speak to you soon, Linda x

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  24. So sorry to read of all your trouubles, Amy. It is a worrying time for you both, I hope man will improve and that things will get easier for you. Take care:)

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  25. Amy, I'm so sorry that you are in this difficult situation. You and yours are in my thoughts. Look after yourself my friend. CJ xx

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  26. One day at a time Amy and remember to keep looking after yourself xx

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  27. Thank you for the update. Sorry for the journey you are on. It's not nice. When you are looking for jigsaws for the patient, my father used to improve his hand with a rubber ball to fit in his palm, move around, squeeze. Might that help at all. Just a small part of the problem I know. Look after each other and just do the best you can. Hopefully the next hospital will help the patient improve some more. Best wishes :)

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  28. Hello Amy, I am so sorry to read this and wish you and. My husbands best friend who lives in America 52 years old had a stroke last week and he was in an induced coma, he is out of it now but has lost his speech and some physical damage, my husband is beside himself as he is so far away and cannot be there with him. But his friend has a big family and he is in good hands, we pray in our hearts and I pray for you too. Take care. I will not be joining in this week 5 on Friday and admire that you have started up again even with everything around you. I hope to join in next week or the week after, you will be in my thoughts take care Shaheen big hug

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  29. Thanks for the update. Just wanted you to know that you/your husband/the situation with your father-in-law are in my thoughts and prayers. Just pop in with your blog to say Hello when you can and don't feel guilty when you can't. We in blogland care for you very much.

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  30. Oh my goodness Amy, what a lot you and your husband have been coping with these past dew weeks. My thoughts are with you and I'm glad to read that there are some friends who have been looking after you too.
    Take good care.
    Lisa x

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  31. Oh my word, I am so sorry to hear this. I know exactly where you are, my father in law suffered a stroke some years back. I'm glad to hear that you have some support. Please take care and a big hug to you and your hubby xxx

    Sorry I missed this originally, I have been all over the place this summer and just got back from holiday xx

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