This is such a difficult thing for me to write about. I have tried many times in the past and always deleted what I have written. I wrote a whole long post to share today, and had a friend read it and let me know what they thought and I modified it and spent a long time and put a lot of work into it. Yet, now I am holding back again on saying it all.
The post is, as I said on Friday, about the reasons that I disappear from blogging from time to time. It all relates to Man who I have mentioned before. Somehow though it seems as though I just cannot bring myself to say the words. I really don't know why because it isn't as though I am not saying anything that isn't true. It is, sadly, all true. I am not ashamed either of him or myself and I don't think that anyone should be. I can, and do, talk to friends in person and on e-mail, but publishing it here seems wrong. I guess I feel that I am invading his privacy, which is ironic as I doubt that he would be in the slightest bit concerned about mine or indeed have any care towards my feelings at all.
So, instead of the explanation I promised, the post that I worked so hard on and what I had, until yesterday afternoon intended to say, I am afraid that you have this! I don't really know why. Sorry!
In our life we have Lady, Man and Younger (although not so young any more!) Man who all have health problems. Long term, difficult issues. They are all close relations and all have fluctuating health problems that are all different.
When I disappear it is because of the need to go and deal with their problems, visit them, support them, do things for them, or because I am worn out after doing those things.
It is real, I am not making it up. I could tell you things that would horrify you and sadden you and that you might think highly fantastical, but they are true and trust me, I do not have anywhere near enough imagination to make them up. If I did I actually would have written that novel by now!
I think that I will leave it at that. I don't suppose that you really want to know any more anyway. So in future I will just come and go, and you can, I hope, be reassured that if I do go I am and will be fine and I will return. Always on a Friday if nothing else!
I may or may not mention it again, we will see!
Thank you for listening and understanding and for your support.