Sunday, 12 July 2015

Updating

This is such a difficult thing for me to write about.  I have tried many times in the past and always deleted what I have written.  I wrote a whole long post to share today, and had a friend read it and let me know what they thought and I modified it and spent a long time and put a lot of work into it.  Yet, now I am holding back again on saying it all.

The post is, as I said on Friday, about the reasons that I disappear from blogging from time to time.  It all relates to Man who I have mentioned before.  Somehow though it seems as though I just cannot bring myself to say the words.  I really don't know why because it isn't as though I am not saying anything that isn't true.  It is, sadly, all true.  I am not ashamed either of him or myself and I don't think that anyone should be.  I can, and do, talk to friends in person and on e-mail, but publishing it here seems wrong.  I guess I feel that I am invading his privacy, which is ironic as I doubt that he would be in the slightest bit concerned about mine or indeed have any care towards my feelings at all.

So, instead of the explanation I promised, the post that I worked so hard on and what I had, until yesterday afternoon intended to say, I am afraid that you have this!  I don't really know why.  Sorry!

In our life we have Lady, Man and Younger (although not so young any more!) Man who all have health problems.  Long term, difficult issues.  They are all close relations and all have fluctuating health problems that are all different.

When I disappear it is because of the need to go and deal with their problems, visit them, support them, do things for them, or because I am worn out after doing those things.

It is real, I am not making it up.  I could tell you things that would horrify you and sadden you and that you might think highly fantastical, but they are true and trust me, I do not have anywhere near enough imagination to make them up.  If I did I actually would have written that novel by now!

I think that I will leave it at that.  I don't suppose that you really want to know any more anyway.  So in future I will just come and go, and you can, I hope, be reassured that if I do go I am and will be fine and I will return.  Always on a Friday if nothing else!

I may or may not mention it again, we will see!

Thank you for listening and understanding and for your support.

Amy

58 comments:

  1. You don't owe any one an explanation for why you haven't blogged or what you've been doing. Life does get in the way at times and it sounds from what you've both said and not said that things are hard work for you at the moment. I hope the pressure eases off for you.

    I enjoy reading your posts. I may not comment that often but I'm glad when your name pops up on my feed. Hope you have an enjoyable weekend xx

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  2. Amy, you don't owe anyone an explanation for why you might or not not post on your blog. Nobody has a right to know everything that goes on in your life - just because you open up part of your world doesn't mean that you should automatically show everything. I like that your blog is about the nice things in life, things that make you and us happy, and maybe that is why you keep the two separate; so that you've got a happy place to be when things do get dark. I think it's wonderful that you've got support from your readers who want to check up on you if you've not been around, and I know that everyone who thinks about you wishes you well without needing to know the reasons why you might need a virtual hug. They cost nothing to send and certainly don't require an explanation in payment. Nothing in life ever stays the same forever, so one day your situation will be different and I hope that you can manage to stay strong and support your family until that happens xx

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  3. Dear Amy, as the others have said, you don't need to explain anything to any of your readers. You are free to share or not, as you feel comfortable. Your sweet, strong, spirit shines through in your blog, and you are very good at sharing those attractive, fun aspects of life which we all need and enjoy. I try to do the same with my blog, but not nearly so well as you do. I share some things, but there are sometimes quite awful things happening in my life which never get a mention on the blog. I hope your situation resolves in time, but know that we all care and wish you all the best. Hugs xxx

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  4. I am in total agreement with the comments above, you do not owe any one an explanation for your blog absences. Life gets in the way and for most, their blog is not a job. We all have 'dark' places in our lives that we do not want to share. What you write should always be your choice, and you should never write about something you are not comfortable with just because you think you owe it to your readership. Your relations are very lucky to have somebody as caring as you and your husband in their lives. Wishing you strength and continued optimism for the next few days and weeks. xx

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  5. Please do not feel the need to explain or apologise for what you do. We all love reading your blog posts but do not want to invade your privacy. You are always so open and honest in your writing but do not feel guilty when you are unable to bare all. You are so brave.

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  6. hugs to you I agree with the above comments-you don't owe anyone an explanation Use your blog in the best way that is good for you not anyone else. I have used my blog for a sounding board at times as I don't have anybody here to talk to sometimes (we moved away when we retired) I also use my blog to share my crafts, recipes and more. I use my blog for happiness for me and to share and to learn. and I love visiting my blog friends for the same things-to pick up a new recipe, how others craft, and give those a cyber hug in need too blogging should be a happy place for you-so write what you want to--sometimes getting things down in writing is a good release-a suggestion you could open a seperate private blog that only you can read-it might be a way to get it all out for you

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  7. I've never mentioned on my blog the. events of this past year,as you say,they are difficult to believe. I 've disappeared for long stretches of time too ,but I've never felt the need for a detailed explanation.I lost lots of followers...but kept some of the loveliest!
    We all care about you,regardless of things that are happening in your private life...we don't need explanations.
    We'll be here whenever you are...simple.
    Jane x

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  8. Amy, Evelyn and Christine are absolutely right in that you don't owe anyone an explanation. Those people who would like to know what's going on read your blog because we like what you choose to share with us and how you write it, because you have developed a relationship with us and we have grown to care about you. The boundaries are wherever you choose to draw them and know this: like many others, I willingly send you whatever care and support you gain from this community you have created. I am keeping you and those who you love in my thoughts and prayers. xx

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  9. I think that most of us have things or people who take our time and energies on occasion, I know that I do. As you say they and you are entitled to privacy. I am just happy when you post, and equally happy to wait in anticipation when you take a break. Hugs.Pam x

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  10. You don't need to explain anything Amy, as to not going into the details. The last thing any of us want is to have breached anyone's privacy whether they read our blogs or not. I am sending a virtual hug and positive thoughts your way, Amy. xx

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  11. Amy keep your private life private, I dont blog about about my private life and whats going on in my family beacuse my blog is about what I enjoy and I dont want it tarnished with crap that I get from my family, my blog is a place I can escape all that baggage, there may be a time in the future I feel I want to tell the world what goes on but until then I keep it off my blog.
    Keep posting about the little pleasures in life and use you blog as your space were the nasty stuff in life does intrude. Its your little bit of space and should be a place of pleasure :-)

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  12. Nothing more needs to be added, you don't owe anyone an explanation you blog about what you want. It is indeed hard caring for loved ones. Hope all is well at the moment.

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  13. Oh sweetie, I feel your pain, and anxiousness. I lived it for a long time. Appearing and disappearing dealing with life issues, personal things I couldn't share. our lives are like roller coasters lots of ups and downs, some are lucky enough to have music playing while on that roller coaster. I've been on a roller coaster now for almost 10 years. After loosing Mr. P almost a year and half ago the roller coaster continues with no music. Having a feeling of having to justify my life to others has seen flown out the window. I don't owe anyone an explanation of how my life turns on a daily basis. You too my friend don't owe anyone anything. Look in the mirror and know the person looking back is truly loved. I'm sure you hear it many times. we're there for you, if you need anything just give us a call etc, etc, etc. Lost words on souls that are hurting. I want you to know I'm truly here for you in any fashion you need, email, text, phone call anything. Sometimes we just need to vent to someone that isn't as close to a situation. Someone to have a shoulder to lean on and listen and wipe the tears as they flow. Please feel free to reach out in any fashion you choose to when you choose too. In the mean time I'll look forward to your posts when you posts. Sending you prayers and virtual hugs. fondly ~lynne~

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  14. Amy, I'm sorry things continue to be difficult for you, it must be very hard on you at times. Look after yourself, as well as those around you. You're an amazing person, and very generous. Sending you my very best wishes. CJ xx

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  15. Oh Amy I'm sorry for what you're going through. Families can just tear us apart, hurt us without thinking and do terrible things then wonder why we feel hurt. I understand your reluctance to write about what is going on. You'll notice I never write about my family except for husband and daughter. What happens else where in the family is too depressing for words.
    My Mom tried to shield me from it when she was alive and my younger sister does the same now, but still it's there and even if I don't know the details I know things are bad.
    So don't worry if you have to step away from your blog from time to time, know that you're in our thoughts and that we do care for you.

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  16. Amy, you have a right to your privacy and no need to apologize. We all reveal how much or how little we like through our blogs and the people who read them are either fine with that or move on elsewhere. You can well see that your many blogging friends are still here! So please stay strong and let yourself feel the love.
    Amalia
    xo

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  17. Amy, believe me my sweet friend that we will always be here to support you through your ups and downs, just as you have been for us. Take your breaks as and when you need them and remember to have some time for you too. Lots of love, Chelxx

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  18. I'm sorry you are dealing with multiple people in your family with medical needs. I know how draining the can be, as I have a husband and a daughter who have medical issues. I also know how hard it is to walk that fine line between respecting their privacy and the need to use our blog platform as an outlet to talk about it. Hugs to you!

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  19. Take the time you need, no need to explain, sending hugs
    Clare xx

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  20. I am so sorry for you to have to put up with those difficult issues.
    I already admire you for being able to blog at all in-between those things!
    Hope you are also able to enjoy things like your pretty garden and some crochet ;-)
    Lots of love from Mirjam.

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  21. Amy, blogging is a difficult thing. I don't think you have to explain anything to anyone, do as you please. Its your life honey. as everyone has said you are a generous wonderful woman who shares the most beautiful things. Whatever you feel like blogging I will always read it . Hugs and kisses

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  22. Life can just be very tough sometimes especially when those we love are facing difficulties that we can't solve. Just remember .....we are always out there with a virtual HUG when you need it.

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  23. I echo what everyone else has said. I've had a lot of things happen in recent months that I wouldn't blog about. Your blog is your space to write or not write as you wish, it's entirely voluntary and you don't owe your readers anything. I have written a couple of personal posts and just thought 'nope, that's too much of my personal life to share in cyber space'. That aside your situation sounds really stressful at times and if you need to write about IT you know you'll receive a ton of support here and that we'll cheer you on :-) xx

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  24. Amy, just share what you want to share, just tell what you want to tell... That is the freedom of choice you have as a blogster !
    Just know that, if necessary, we're here to give you the support you need !!
    A big hug, I really hope things will change a little bit for the good (or at least, that things will not get worse...) for you !

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  25. I'm sorry to hear you're still going through tough times. As to how much to share on the blog, I think most of us hold back with some parts of our lives, you owe no one an explanation. I hope things improve for you soon.

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  26. I'm sorry that you have these difficulties in your life all I can say is please think of yourself Amy you have to put yourself first you can only take so much and I speak from experience. Thinking of you. xxx

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  27. Why apologise? Why explain? We will always wait and read and love your contributions when you are able to.... and when life is hard or difficult and time is precious (as time has a habit of being) we will wait and worry if the gap is too long, but be too polite to ask too many and too personal questions.
    And we will smile and give you unconditional support when you come back.
    Because that's what we are here for.
    Now, go and enjoy the day. And smile at the friends who are here for you when you need us.

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  28. Aw Amy, you are such a lovely person, even when I don't blog for ages, you always pop back with a kindly comment. You don't have to explain yourself, I just appreciate you being there, and hope I can be here for you too xx

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  29. Hi Amy - Sorry to hear your are having difficulties. As most of the comments say you don't owe anyone an explanation. Just blog when you are able to and look after yourself. Joan at www.aviewtothefells.com

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  30. Dear Amy,
    I wish I could see you and give you a big hug! And honestly, I am not a big hug type of person! You do the best that you can do in life and try to do the right thing and that is ALL that you can do. If you choose to tell us in a post what all this is about, then that is YOUR choice and I am certain that all your readers respect that.
    Now, just think that I have given you a great big hug...okay? Can you still smell a faint aroma of my perfume?
    No, honey, that is the deodorant that I always bring back from England...it is doggone it, I can't remember what it is...I always buy it from Super Drug in Eastbourne...Soft & Dri, I think... it smells heavenly!
    Take care! xx

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    1. Soft & GENTLE!! Soft & Dri is the American one...I forget which country I am in! LOL!

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  31. Oh dear Amy! I'm sending you a hug from across the sea and a shoulder if you should ever need it. You have a caregiver's heart and you know I relate well in that department. Family issues can be so trying and sounds like extra frustrating in your world. I was a social worker for 9 years and that is primarily what I dealt with - family counseling and issues. Just know I'm sending prayers and all of my best thoughts. I know you have my email if you should ever need me.
    God bless sweet Friend. xoxo

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  32. You sound as though you have quite a bit to contend with one way or another - life isn't easy sometimes is it. I am sure everyone understands that occasionally you need to be away from the world of blogging You do remarkably well under the circumstances.

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  33. Dear Amy, I am so sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you. I have a very complicated extended family situation too and I completely understand the exhaustion that it brings. Please look after yourself too. Sending you lots of love x x x

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  34. Having been in a similar position - although only with one person - I know what you're going through. There's no need to apologise for not sharing it all here. Know that your pockets are full of friends - not just me in there! - so put your hand in and hang on tight! Hugs to you from me, Amy. :o)

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  35. Take care. Thinking of you. x

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  36. Just take things one day at a time. x

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  37. Thinking of you Amy and yes I think most of us go through rough periods as we all come from somewhere originally, never just appear out of the blue. Take care and we'll be here when you blog again. Huggles.

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  38. I'm fairly new to visiting you, but I don't think you should have to explain your life circumstances to anyone unless you choose to do so. No need to apologize for "disapppearing" either. Most of us have things...or people to take us away from time to time. That's just life. With that said, it does sound as though you have some very difficult and challenging issues to deal with and for that I am truly sorry. I will pray for you to have the strength and courage, love, and compassion you need to deal with whatever circumstances you find yourself in. Hugs and Prayers, Vicky

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  39. thinking of you and wishing you lots of lovely positive supportive thoughts :)

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  40. You have to do what you do and you don't owe us an explanation. Anyone who has spent any time here can tell you are a loving, giving person and I know you are doing your best in all these situations. I don't need the details to be praying for you, so that's what I'll do.

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  41. Aw dear Amy I understand you!
    Please dont worry for us and you dont have to explain but I appreciate.
    Anyway all of us have difficult times and I understand is hard for you.
    I send you all my love and prayers dear Amy:)
    xoxo

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  42. I echo what everyone else said, you don't need to explain anything to anyone either on here or in 'real life'. Inlove reading your blog whether it's once a month, once a week, or once a day! It's your blog, you decide what to blog about and if something's too personal or too painful, or you just don't fancy sharing something, there is no need to explain at all. Big hugs, Jillxx

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  43. I think most people will understand any absences from your blogging. I had to make a decision myself on these kind of issues about 6 months ago when a very close family member was diagnosed with a serious health issue which could be life threatening. I decided my blog was not the place to air my worries and fears and that these things in my case should remain private. Blog when you feel able, we will still be here.

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  44. thinking of you Amy, you clearly have a lot on your mind, and a lot going on, don't feel you have to explain or talk about it here, let this blog be your happy place. xxx take care xxx

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  45. I completely echo what others have said Amy. You don't owe any explanation, sending a big hug x

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  46. Amy you have enough to cope with and no explanations are necessary.
    This blog is your own space and it is alright to come and go as you please nobody expects you to divulge private family information.
    Take care.

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  47. It's nice to hear from you when you can manage it, and, as everybody else is saying, you really don't need to tell us any more than you feel you want to. Make sure you make time for you as well as for everyone else! Take care of yourself. Barbara xx

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  48. So sorry to hear about the difficulties you're experiencing at the moment and hope things improve for you. Your private life is your private life and no one expects or needs explanation as to what you're going through. Thinking of you. Thanks for your comment on my recent post. Px

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  49. Hi Amy, It is your blog and your rules and if you want/need to disappear for a while then you do it and you take the time to feel better and come back. I am sorry that you are having to manage some tough times with people you care about though. Remember to take time for yourself too as you are just as important as anyone else you have in your life. xxx

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  50. You don't owe anyone reading this any explanations Amy. Your blog is where you can choose what you share with the world and when you share it. And it is important that you take time for yourself when you need it. Take care xx

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  51. Blog for yourself, give no explanations, we will still be here, life happens. Take Care, x

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  52. Sending you love and strength, blog as and when you can or feel up to it. It's your blog after all xxx

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  53. You owe no explanation at all! Your life is yours and whatever you share on your blog is for you to determine :) Thinking of you xx

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  54. We blog about the good things in life and when bad things happen it's a personal decision as to whether we want to talk about it. You must not feel under any obligation to explain, Amy, as your blog is whatever you want it to be. Life can be very difficult sometimes, and I am thinking of you. Take all the breaks you need :)
    Cathy x

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  55. You are not alone many others have had to deal with problems with health issues with relatives, we understand how difficult and time consuming it can be. Sarah x

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  56. Echoing what others have said so eloquently, no need to apologise or explain blogging absences, and absolutely not necessary to reveal intimate details of your life with your readers. Take care x

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  57. My dear Amy,
    It's been said above, but you don't need to explain either you absence from blogging or the reasons behind it. You are totally entitled to your privacy. I think we all have stuff that goes on behind the walls of our blogs, that we feel we'd like to or ought to share. But really, we don't have to do anything that makes us feel awkward or uncomfortable. Caring for others is sometimes and thankless job. It is always a tiring and emotional draining one. And you owe it to yourself to look after you, too. I get a lot of solace from writing personal things on my blog, but I don't ever lay myself or my family or those closest to me, completely bare. You don't have to either. However be assured that all of us who visit, are quite aware of how caring and lovely a person you are. That shines out from your own writing, and your responses to the writings of others.
    With much love to you,
    Leanne xx

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